an offer that will not be refused

everyone here, take note: jesus may or may not be coming back. for a limited time only, newsmax will tell you what to expect vis-a-vis armageddon, and, here's the clincher: they'll throw in a hand-crank emergency radio for free. that way, when god's judgment is cast upon all of us sinners, you'll be able to tune into premiere radio networks for the latest on attaining salvation from rush limbaugh. the radio will also be handy if obama abolishes christianity and democracy, ushering in a thousand years of islamosocialist darkness. in this scenario, limbaugh will keep you informed on the location of safehouses for true believers/patriots and also fart the star-spangled banner every morning.