Dan Savage of Savage Love, the smartest sex columnist I've ever read (though I guess I haven't read many, because he's the best) has fought back, albeit a week and a half late, at Rick Warren's presence at the inauguration by announcing the following definition for the new verb "to saddleback," in honour of Warren's California megachurch:
"Saddlebacking: the phenomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginities." After attending the Purity Ball, Heather and Bill saddlebacked all night because she's saving herself for marriage.
I for one think it's perfect.
Savage was responsible for coining "santorum" as "the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex" in honour of Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania. To be honest I don't know if I've ever heard anyone use the term outside of his own column but from what I hear it's fairly widespread. So it's now our duty to get the word into the parlance of our times.
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Unless you are or have just been actively engaging in anal sex ("Aw jeez, look at all that Santorum! And just when I purchased new sheets!"), I think it's pretty difficult to work that phrase into common conversation unless it's used as a metaphor ("I really thought I was going to enjoy that stimulus package, but what with all the pork, graft and inflation, all we ended up with was a bunch of Santorum!").
ReplyDeleteOr something like that.
I think the same can be said about Saddlebacking. Outside of Sunday School, how often are you going to talk about Christian kids preserving themselves for Jesus by corn-holing one another? What could this be a metaphor for exactly?
Perhaps whenever someone, in an effort to (self-righteously) do what is pure and moral, engages without irony in an act of unimaginable filthiness that person is a figurative saddlebacker.
I would think of an example, but I can't stop thinking about anal sex. Anyone?
P.S. For extra point, mix (Santorum-like) the two phrases above...("The two saddlebacking teens were shocked and horrified at the resulting discharge, Santorum in no way resembling the love of the baby Jesus."..except maybe as a metaphor.
To me, the santorum thing worked less because I could use it in a sentence and more because I hated Rick Santorum a lot. Now, whenever I think of him (which is rarely) I think of messy anal sex, or of that picture of his daughter crying from 2006.
ReplyDeleteBeyond that, and I understand that Dan Savage hates on Rick Warren (for good reason), 2004 was a much angrier time (again, for good reason), and the santorum thing stuck because you couldn't look anywhere without his shit-and-lube-eating grin smiling back at you. Warren is a dong but he's not a senator-dong.