New Age idiots kill people, puzzle over declining business

So, a New Age guru who charges 10 grand for people to go to Sedona, sit near crystals, and sweat to the oldies (by which I mean made up, poorly documented, and twisted beyond recognition Native American oldies) is being charged with manslaughter after three people (customers? visitors? pilgrims?) died and numerous others were rushed to hospital following a sweat lodge disaster. Take a look at the response from some other Sedonians:

“It was a very unfortunate and sad situation that could have happened anywhere,” said Janelle Sparkman, president of the Sedona Metaphysical Spiritual Association, who attributes the woes that New Age practitioners are experiencing to the lack of disposable income tourists have for spiritual needs and not what happened that awful afternoon. “It was not indicative of Sedona or Sedona’s practitioners at all.”

Uh... what? Three people could have died in a sweat lodge anywhere? I mean, I guess that's technically true. I mean, I don't think that the physical location of the sweat lodge made it more dangerous. If this asshole was charging 10 grand to sit in a sweat lodge in downtown Baltimore, they could have died there, too. But how the fuck is this not indicative of Sedona? Have you seen the Wikipedia page? It has a separate heading for vortices. Seems to me that, given the amount of bullshit that comes out of that corner of Arizona on a daily basis, it's probably a lot more likely that it would happen in Sedona. And for fuck's sake, one of Sedona's most well-known practitioners killed three people. If that doesn't say anything about Sedona's practitioners... Well, it does.

“Initially, I didn’t think it was going to affect business and, a year later, I know I was wrong,” said Deidre Madsen, who runs a New Age travel company in Sedona and a Web site devoted to inner growth. “I’m shocked at the impact. My business is down 20 percent.”

You're shocked at the impact. Of three people dying. You're shocked. You know, just because you believe that those three people are going to be reincarnated as rainbow dolphin angel faerie babies doesn't mean that everyone does. When people die doing something, other people don't want to do it anymore.

“We do not want an energy that we’re sitting on a graveyard,” said Amayra Hamilton, co-founder of Angel Valley. “This is about learning and appreciating life. That means expanding our understanding of life and death.”

Guess what? If you didn't want that "energy," you shouldn't have killed three people. You could have listened to the people warning about the dangers of sweat lodges, but you didn't. You went ahead, because you are goddamn greedy fucking vultures,* irregardless of whether or not you believe in the shit you peddle. Yes, IRregardless. I'm so fucking pissed I added a syllable.



Now, to end on a lighter note, here are the first couple paragraphs from the article:

SEDONA, Ariz. — There is negative energy in the air here, which the channelers, mystics, healers, psychics and other New Age practitioners of Sedona are grappling to identify and snuff out. It has to do with the recent dearth of visitors to this spiritual mecca in search of help.

Nobody is sure exactly what is keeping people away from Sedona’s four vortexes, those swirling energy sources emanating from the earth, but the effects are clear: far fewer crystals are being purchased, spiritual tours taken and treatments — from aura cleansings to Chakra balancings — ordered.

So deliciously sardonic. Kudos to you, Marc Lacey.


* Ray refused to refund his customers' money after he canceled the retreat following the deaths.