You had better have missed me

It's been a while. I know, I shouldn't have left you, not (at least) without a strong rhyme to step to.

Only David will possibly understand that joke.

So! It's springtime, and the headlines are pregnant with fuck-uppery. I don't even know what I should be aiming at, if I'm to carry out a successful sniping mission in the smugness and obscurity of the sidelines. Ben got Goldman, and Dave's dug up the dirt on Rush and Rand; I'm feeling like the fat kid who's sweating his way to the start line even as the long-legged Adonises blaze towards the finish.

How about Greece? It's in a tight spot, and I'm going ten to one that it'll take more than olive oil and kebab fat to squeeze its way out. For all of you who've made heavy bets in sovereign-debt markets, I'd suggest you start shedding bonds like necrotic extremities. My guess is that Athens will be so weakened by discord and popular dissent that it will have succumbed to semi-, and then full, anarchy by mid-summer, with the worship of ritualized conflict as mortal pseudo-sport a sure bet for the Christmas season.

Financial regulation is doing well: it's shaping up to be almost as eye-boilingly infuriating as healthcare was. If I had a nickel for every time I wanted to infect a Republican member of Congress with incurable bone plague, I wouldn't even need to spring for the plague--I could just choke him with nickels.

Finally, everyone give a big round of applause for the United Kingdom, where it looks as if the utter ruination of the Labour Party is all but tattooed onto the Queen's chest. In a surprise upset, backstretch warmers the Liberal Democrats are set to snatch an unprecedented three-times-ten-percent share of the upcoming vote. Not bad for the worst country in the world, transforming a devastating and relentless economic catastrophe into a once-in-a-generation political upheaval which may yet remake British politics entirely for the better.

Who am I kidding? They're still ugly and awful, and, if lazy, American humor is anything to go by, they eat like medieval dungeon prostitutes. U-S-A!