My absentee ballot hasn't arrived. I'm hearing from other expat friends that theirs haven't either. Son. Of. A. Bitch.

At least my riding is going Liberal. But seriously, man. Fuck.

Please don't hate me, all of you. Hate the postal service.

Rewrite

If you have to ask, the regression has taken seven days. From the blissful detachment of the internet deprived, it has taken me all but a week to forget that more important things in life do exist beyond those things that I read about on the news but cannot change and to get back to fuming over what the latest A1 New York Times article seems to imply:

The United States has long had a sterling credit report from ratings agencies because of the global preference for the dollar. But the latest deficit gridlock in Washington may have taken some of the luster off the reputation of the world’s largest economy and its currency.

On Monday, the ratings firm Standard & Poor’s lowered its outlook on the United States rating to negative. Although the agency did not actually lower its highest AAA rating on the country’s debt, it was the first time since the S.& P. started assigning outlooks in 1989 that the country was given an outlook that was something other than stable.

While it had not been completely unexpected, the S.& P. decision shifted the nation’s deficit debate out of the political arena — at least for the day — and thrust it on Wall Street. The action spooked investors, sending the three main stock indexes down more than 1 percent.

Treasury yields, or the interest rate that the country pays on its debt, spiked immediately after the announcement. Since the United States owes more than $9 trillion in outstanding debt to the public, even a one-tenth of a percent increase could potentially add billions to the deficit over time.

There are a number of things wrong with these introductory paragraphs--namely those last two. In fact, those last two paragraphs are so flawed, I've decided to just rewrite them. You will find my corrections below in italics:

While it had not been completely unexpected, the S.& P. decision shifted the nation’s deficit debate out of the political arena — at least for the day — and thrust it on Wall Street. That isn't necessarily to say that the rating agencies should to be seen as apolitical, or, most importantly, as qualified and competent to actually offer trustworthy ratings. I mean really, after spending the first half of the aughts telling everyone that U.S. mortgage-backed anything constituted prime investment-grade material, who on earth would pay any degree of credence to anything they say? I mean, you'd really have to be an idiot to put any faith in these companies. This is particularly true when it comes to their assessments of government, as opposed to corporate, debt where the rating agencies have access to just as much relevant information as the general public and so there really is no other way to see this but as a guess which is supported by, at best, nothing at all and, at worst, mindless ideology. The action spooked investors, sending the three main stock indexes down more than 1 percent. Though obviously it's difficult to say whether the stock market was spooked because they actually feared a U.S. government default (an opinion they'd evidently not held or realized they'd held until S.&P. published its own), higher interest rates resulting from market fears of U.S. government default, future austerity measures imposed by the government responding to assumed market fears of U.S. government default, or something else entirely, like higher oil prices or Japan or Portugal or whatever.

Treasury yields, or the interest rate that the country pays on its debt, spiked immediately after the announcement. And by "spike immediately," I mean rose slightly from one historic low to another historic low before actually finishing the day lower than it started. Which is to say, I am completely making shit up at this point, but nevermind, you probably won't read past the jump to the business section anyway and you definitely won't bother looking up the April 18th figures from online sources that are readily accessible. Since the United States owes more than $9 trillion in outstanding debt to the public, even a one-tenth of a percent increase could potentially add billions to the deficit over time. Paul Ryan Paul Ryan PAUL RYAN!

Get out yo ruler.

Now here is some science I can get behind thank you Cory Doctorow from BoingBoing.
Men's taint-size correlated with fertility